About tonight's all-girl dinner party
Mr. Steph: So what are you making for tonight?
Me: Chili and cornbread.
Mr. Steph: [Hysterical laughter for six minutes]
Me: What's so funny?
Mr. Steph: I just thought you'd have finger sandwiches or something.
Me: So what, because we're girls we're supposed to eat dainty food?
Mr. Steph: No, I just didn't realize you were going ice fishing afterward.
Me: Anyway, and then someone's bringing an appetizer.
Mr. Steph: Pork rinds?
IT SMELLS LIKE HOT DOGS IN THE HALLWAY.
WHY DOES IT SMELL LIKE HOT DOGS IN THE HALLWAY?
Blocking the internet on my computer
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Best Friends re: my (all girl) dinner party
Ali: is anyone there going to be good at painting nails? i need a mani
me: you're turning this into a real 7th grade slumber party
Ali: help a sister out
me: i mean, we all paint our own nails. you can't do your own?
Ali: NO. are you kidding?
me: are you?
Ali: i can paint my left fine. you suck
me: you lack the skills required to be a human
Ali: you suck a fat hairy ball
me: your ability to remain classy in all situations is why i'm friends with you
Ali: your ability to stick a large rod of bark up your ass and still walk without a limp impresses me
me: your mother must be proud
Ali: your mom
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