June 2011
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"Ya mon what's happening"
The above is a text I just received from my father, who is currently vacationing in Jamaica with 3/5 of my family.
Apparently two guys have offered to sell him pot so far.
What I wouldn’t give..
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You know what’s awesome?
Having sore quads the day after a wedding.
It’s the only way to determine if the party was a success.
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Best. Friends.
It’s been 10 days since I saw my roommate.
Today was about to be the 11th.
I just found out we get to go to dinner after all.
My level of giddiness is higher than that of a first date.
Friday with my best friend.
NOTHING. BETTER.
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Stop what you're doing right now
and go to animalsbeingdicks.com.
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Can we talk about the fact that my favorite song of 50 Cent’s was “Bitch, Get In My Car”?
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I am my own worst enemy
most of the time.
There are few people who do a better job of backing me off the ledge than my best friend, Vicky.
She is the easygoing to my high strung.
The levelheadedness to my agitation.
Without her, I would a) need a therapist and b) have spontaneously combusted 10 years ago.
I forget a lot of things, but one thing I (usually) remember is how fucking awesome my friends are.
Truly.
I...
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The first time I ever wanted to get married.
No, it wasn’t while gazing into the eyes of a tall, dark and handsome stranger.
Or at the end of Kate Hudson’s latest flick.
It was soon after I looked adoringly at my paycheck.
It was immediately after I looked at my (married) work partner’s paycheck.
It was during the horrified gasp I let out as I did the math.
And it was right before wondering how long it would take to...
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It's up!
I just found out that over the weekend, one of my coworkers was in Detroit and saw my billboard! It’s the first piece my partner and I sold (for McDonald’s) and it’s SO cool to know that other eyeballs are seeing something we thought of.
:)
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Sunday Morning
How many cool points do I lose for listening to “Sunday Morning” by Maroon 5 ON Sunday morning?
And do I gain any back for the follow-up song being “Just a Friend” by Mario?
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“You are the weirdest girl I’ve ever met.”
– Raise your hand if you’d take that as a compliment. (Both my hands are up.)
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One fish, two fish..
Today marks Day One of my attempt to keep my roommate’s fish alive while she’s on vacation.
I have been tasked with feeding her every day and am terrified I will forget, which is why I have both a note on the chalkboard and a daily alarm on my phone just to be safe.
It is Friday, June 17th and Madeline was fed at 7:30 this morning.
Feast on, fishy.
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The National Association of Homebuilders predicts... →
This is terrific news. As the world’s lightest sleeper, I have agonized for quite some time how I will eventually deal (long term) with sharing a bed with another person.
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Today brought an overwhelming range of emotions. My roommate reminds me how logic-oriented I am all the time and it’s true - feelings don’t get in the way of my day-to-day for the most part.
On days like today, it feels like I’m a malfunctioning robot.
Can’t. Process. Feelings.
System shutdown.
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The Every Guy's Guide to Holding Hands →
I had to share an excerpt on one of their “Forbidden Hand-Holding Techniques” because it made me cry and creepily laugh under my breath at work:
The Double Around the Back “This is so ridiculous that I couldn’t even find a picture of it. I spotted a couple on a stroll through the park engaged is this super grip last week, which is what prompted this entire article. I knew at the...
Anonymous asked: Do you like disorganization?
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30 Days
So I made up these 30 Day challenges in my head. The premise is pretty obvious: do something for 30 days, see how it affects me and what the result is post-30 days.
First on the docket: 30 days without chips.
You might be laughing, but if you saw the number of chips I inhale per day, you’d know this is a serious quest.
I’m on Day 3 with no signs of withdrawal yet.
The tricky part...
