Post with 14 notes
My best friend is running a marathon in San Diego right now.
I am sitting outside a cafe in Chicago equal parts hungover and proud.
My athletic endeavor for the day is texting her words of encouragement, e.g. “I hope you don’t poop on your leg!”
She is awesome.
Post with 16 notes
Well, I thought summer hours started today.
So I scheduled six apartment showings for this afternoon.
Turns out summer hours don’t start til next week.
Still going.
Whatever, I got good news at work today. BYE.
Post with 5 notes
COMMENT WIN.
LOOK HOW MANY DORITOS YOU CAN BUY WITH THAT CASH. He’s a keeper.
Let’s all head to Happy Hour. BabyK wins.
Photo with 18 notes
GPOYBF
“Hi, my name is Matt and I don’t understand why you feel the need to put endless pictures of me on the Internet when you know how much I hate social media.”
This is the only picture I have from our Sunday night out on the town.
Post with 10 notes
It’s weird how babies are forced to wear those mitten things when they’re born.
I know it’s so they don’t scratch their faces (or something), but it’s kind of like a mini-straitjacket.
No wonder they cry all the time.
Also: I know it’s cute to take pictures of sleeping babies on the reg, but imagine if we did that to adults.
Post with 22 notes
I opened a PAWS email this morning to see this face.
This is a real dog.
The shelter named him Boozer.
Sometimes life really knocks it out of the park.
Photo with 12 notes
![Note to self: you cannot keep styrofoam warm in the oven.
Also, broil is a hotter setting, not a lower one.
It’s moments like these I feel much younger than 25.
[On the plus side, I tried Middle Eastern food for the first time tonight and liked it!]](http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m4x3qpCF7K1qh7somo1_1280.jpg)
Note to self: you cannot keep styrofoam warm in the oven.
Also, broil is a hotter setting, not a lower one.
It’s moments like these I feel much younger than 25.
[On the plus side, I tried Middle Eastern food for the first time tonight and liked it!]
Post with 12 notes
I’m beginning to look for a new apartment.
I’m seeing six units tomorrow afternoon. (#thatswhatshesaid) I’m street viewing these places on Google maps and so far I’ve discovered:
- One building is kitty-corner from Tempo Cafe (Greetings, Obesity!)
- Another building is NEXT DOOR to the Hangge Uppe (Farewell, Life Accomplishments!)
My future looks questionable at best. Not sorry.
Photo reblogged from Rule Number 1 with 8 notes
Tumblr Crushes:
- neonlily
- bilokudakikisvuda
- comicallyvariant
- bees-knees
- writer-b
- coreythedopest
- canttuchthis
- passtheranch
- wilwheaton
Seems legit.
OH MY GOD, I’M SOMEONE’S TUMBLR CRUSH!!
I know it’s uncouth to act like you care about these things, but I don’t care, I DO.
‘Cause you guys are my internet best friends.
Source: walex
Quote with 8 notes
Oh my god. Before I read the hashtag on your blog I totes thought you were pregnant. I can’t describe the feeling I just experienced. It was like all of the late night Dominos pizza and pitchers of margaritas and trips to the Hangge Uppe were flashing before my eyes. It felt like MY life was over.
Post with 4 notes
Day to day, it seems like nothing ever happens.
You can’t find change to save your life. Then all of a sudden, it comes blowing down your door, knocking the wind out of you. It’s the slamming of a door, the starting of an engine, the decision to never look back. It’s one night on a trolley, it’s one “forget the condom”, it’s one finger down one throat. We never realize at the time how big these moments are, to where they will eventually lead us. But they change everything. And after the moment is over, you’re left staring at the carnage, unblinking, and without a Plan B to pivot to.
Because for some things in life, there are no Plan Bs.
Quote with 6 notes
You look really uncomfortable while you eat grapes.
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